This is a wonderful area of NLP, and probably you won’t learn this anywhere else. This is called Perceptual Positions – This is about adopting different viewpoints, thinking and feeling from different people’s point of view.
The idea is simple “Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in his shoes.” We all have our judgments and perceptions about people and things but that needn’t be the reality, we judge based on our reality which might not be true. When a person is angry at you, you might feel he is arrogant and rude, you are partially right but when you think and feel from his point of view, you understand him.
The ability to see things from other’s point of view is a key skill in all aspects of life, business, entrepreneurship, relationships. This is also an important communication skill, negotiation kill, persuasion skill .
NLP is not only concerned with seeing things, but also feeling and hearing from others’ perspective sometimes, even smell and taste can tell us a lot about other person’s perspective..
The Coffee Break!
Consider this, you asked your mom to make a cup of coffee and while you wait for the coffee, you receive a call. And you’re talking to your friend. Coffee is ready. But you are still talking to your friend. By the time you’re back and you sip the coffee, you realize – coffee is cold. Will you drink it ? Some people might drink it because for them “cold coffee’’ is fine. But some others might not drink because for the coffee must be hot. Both of them are true to their feelings. This can lead to arguments and confusions because if we don’t understand other persons’ map, we disconnect with them.
Let’s try this : Consider walking some steps with your friend and try walking like your friend. His body posture, his movements, his pace . Take a few minutes to reflect. What happened to you now? You feel uncomfortable. You feel funny. That’s because you just tried to walk in someone’s shoes and you found it different. But for your friend, that’s his reality, that’s his life.
Steps in NLP Perceptual Positions:
Step 1 – The You Position – In this position you talk from your perspective. It is all about you. It is all about your feelings, your thoughts, your sensory experience. This is how you sense the world. And this is your world.
Step 2 – The Other person position – In this position you talk from other’s perspective – you disconnect from your sensory experience and try to get into other person’s map of the world. In the world, you try to match his feelings, perceptions, experience and talk how other person will talk.
Step 3 – The neutral person – In this position you are a neutral person. You don’t know – First position and Second Position. This means you look from a neutral point of like. First two positions could be 2 Indians talking to each other and trying to understand each other whereas this position is like a Chinese person trying to understand an Indian. In this position – preconceived notion, bias, prior experiences are limited.