Many people have no idea what life coaches do; moreover they are not sure why someone should hire a life coach. Here are some insights.
1. Stuck!!! – Many people hire the service of a life coach when they are stuck. When they are stuck in the relationships, stuck in the career, stuck in life in general. A life coach will help you dig underneath the thoughts and feelings,and help you understand what is the most important thing you need to do.
2. Lost!!!. Maybe you don’t know what your “gift” is. Maybe you don’t love your job, or you feel like you’re living your life in an auto pilot mode. What does it mean? You get up in the morning, you go to work, you come back, you sleep and there is no life beyond that. You have lost the fun in life or rather, you don’t know.A life coach will help you sort out what your true personal values; he will help you to find out what is your GIFT. That would be the first step toward the life of dreams.
3. Unhappy!!. You just had a break down. You can’t cope with. You just lost your job. You don’t know what to do. You are working under a wrong boss. You don’t know how to get things right. You’re not earning enough. You don’t know the secrets of financial management.A life coach doesn’t have a magic wand to all your problems, but a good life coach help you by actively listening, asking right questions and motivate you to take actions.
4. Financial Worries. One of the top most worries people have in this world is about money. While some people say money is not that important, but the fact of the matter is money is equivalent to oxygen for many people. And many suffocate in the process of making money.Life coach doesn’t offer you money; neither does he show you a gold mine. But remember all great achievements in this world have started with a thought. Unless, the thought is set right nothing meaningful can be achieved. He will help you with financial strategies and clearly show you, why you were not able to succeed financially.
5. You’re in a comfort zone. You’re in your comfort zone. There is nothing wrong about it. But do you get that feeling, you can achieve more and you’re capable of much more than this. At the same, you’re comfortable doing what you’re always doing.
Coaching will invite you, hold your hand and push you to step out of your comfort zone.
6. You’re scared. We all are scared! Even a life coach is scared because he is just another human being like you. It is said “ fear is nothing but False Evidence Appearing Real’’, also it is scientifically proven that when we dig deep and find the root cause of the fear, it is nothing but a set of thoughts.Surprised! Surprised – That is the truth.
A life coach will help you to look beyond the fears, help you to realize why you are so fearful. He will help you to come out of the fearful situation, most importantly, he will help you face life with faith.Faith – the most important ingredient to success.
One thing is true about all of these things. No matter how you feel, you are not lost yet, you are a gold mine, It is just that you are not sure about your treasure. IT IS THERE DEEP WITH IN”. You are naturally creative, happy and a perfect individual.Also, life coaches aren’t not magicians or they cannot give you a magic wand. If there is a problem for you, then there is a solution for you. He will help you to find that solution.Do not get paralyzed with life, get new parameters for life.
Are you Depressed?
Let’s not look depression from a psychological or mental illness perspective, rather let’s look at how a person who is depressed behave.When people are depressed, it affects their being, emotions and moods. Depression can also affect people physically -body aches, headaches, pain, ulcer, constipation. Hence depression is not a mental disease alone, it affects you totally.
There is no single cause for depression.
Many things play a role, this include the family you live with, friends you have, the social circle you constantly engage. Depression can happen in reaction to difficult or stressful life events. Whether a person is optimistic or pessimistic can play a role in depression, too. Depression involves the balance of naturally occurring chemicals in the brain.
Yes, depression is about chemical imbalance in the brain. It starts from thoughts, to words, to actions. Changing your thoughts is an important factor, and the first step towards living happily.
Here are some of the things people notice with depression:
Negativity: Everything starts with a thought. “I’m not good” probably this line alone can cause a lot of damage to people, some people feel guilty, unworthy, rejected, or unloved. For some people it is about seeing negative in everything – I am living in a bad world, I’m living in bad country, my family is not taking care of me, I don’t have good friends, everything around me is bad, I’m bad. When you read the above lines, you surely don’t get motivated in life, you feel a little low, now think about someone who has these kind of thoughts every day. The world looks bleak, and the person’s thoughts reflect that hopelessness and helplessness. People with depression tend to have negative and self-critical thoughts. They can lead other people to depression by sharing their convincing depressive thoughts.
Low energy and motivation: When you’re depressed you will have low energy and low motivation. Remember motivation and energy are connected. When you’re super excited and motivated to do thing, you will have high energy. ”Let’s go for a movie”, try to recollect those lines told to you, by a friend. If you like movies, these lines repeated alone for some time can make a huge difference to your energy levels. Similarly, bad and uninspiring thoughts pulls our energy levels down and demotivate us, we will not have any energy to do things in our lives.
Concentration: Do you find it difficult to concentrate? When you’re doing something do you get distracted or do you focus completely on the subject?. It might be hard to complete a task assigned to you? Then you surely don’t have concentration. You’re not alone there are so many people suffer from this silly syndrome that distracts us. Remember, this is NOT about paying attention on one thing, it is about being aware of everything around you and moving ahead.
Social withdrawing: As mentioned in the above paragraphs, depression can affect the body as well, when you see a person who has low energy, reserved, not communicating effectively, vitality missing, has regular illness, not passionate about life, so you can safely conclude he has depressive thoughts ruling in his mind. Because of feelings of sadness and low energy, people with depression may pull away from friends and family or from activities they once enjoyed. This usually makes them feel more lonely and isolated. That can make the depression and negative thinking worse
Feedback after 2 years
Thank you Alx Jac and Ashok Subramanian
Its been exactly 2 years since I got introduced to NLP. On Jan 19 2013 ,i met Alex,a vibrant young man with tremendous energy, in his two day program on NLP basics. Later in March ’13 he led me to Ashok,a simple man(very hard to find these days) with great thoughts and truths to share.What happened after I met these two??
NOTHING happened. They did nothing other than make me bring everything good into my life. They let me be myself. Because I was allowed to be myself ,not judged and nothing was expected out of me, now I have become better than what I was earlier.
I was not taught but I learnt. I was not forced to change but I changed. No gimmicks..no tricks..but it still feels like magic. Effortless unburdening of self. I learnt the power of NOW and NOTHING from Ashok. Earlier, for me, it was always about past or future..never present . Then I started cherishing thepresent…very presence..NOW..here. Earlier,I was searching for everything. Then I discovered NOTHING with Ashok’s enabling.
Never have I felt tremendous inner peace and harmony before. Never have i been so positive in my life. I wanted to do so many things. Ashok told me its ok to do nothing, think nothing. Sounds simple!! But it was an awakening for me. I paused. I let life hold my hands and take me forward. Now when people ask me what I do..I proudly say NOTHING. Life does everything for me and I do NOTHING to disturb it! I have let go 70% (still working on that 30%) of my anger,ego,regret,negativity,disappointment, hatred. I understood Life is what happens unnoticed when I am busy regretting the past and planning the future. I started counting my blessings and guess what!..I’m getting richer each day.
Nothing has changed in my life. I have changed my way of looking at it. I can’t help notice more good things than bad! Earlier when I was asked to introduce myself and share a few things about me,I used to tell my name followed by educational qualifications and job titles, work experience etc. I realised that’s not who I am. Now ask me who I am and what I do,I say.”I am a blessed woman living a happy life with a beautiful family and good people around me”. I still don’t know much about NLP. All I know is these 3 letters made me meet some wonderful people who have now become part of my life journey. Above all I am proud that I am positively growing to become a good guide to my child in future. Do u still believe life is all about having a great career, earning loads of money, sitting in big positions, having shiny name cards? If yes, then its time u make a call to Alex or Ashok.
3 lessons learned from NLP
I’ve been exploring self-improvement tools for a very long time, in this process I’ve stumbled upon this interesting term –NLP, in the year 2003. This was something interesting, catchy and curiosity generating term.
I came to know another interesting term in NLP, ‘’Internal dialogues’’, I hardly understood what it meant, at that point of time. When I look back, I now understand, how powerful learning it was, what a powerful ingredient for life transformation.
Internal dialogues are our self talks. Are you aware of your self -talks? Self talks play a vital role in creating a life experience, achieving what we want from our lives. Think about one of your goals. For easy understanding, let me say being a millionaire is one of your goals. When you think about your goal what comes to your mind? Do you hear your parents saying ‘’money is a bad thing’’, ‘’ do not accumulate too much wealth’’ or do you hear ‘’making money is an exciting thing’’, ‘’it is about value addition’’.
These are some examples of self-talks. Self talks, whether it is positive or negative, plays a vital role in defining our destiny. If your environment is supportive, then there is a high probability that you have positive self talks . If you’re indulged in negative self talks, you can change it to positive self talks through affirmations.
What are affirmations?
Affirm means ‘’ the action or process of affirming something’’. Our mind has this unique quality of accepting anything which told with conviction, which is repeated over a period of time, and which you believe or which you’re seeing what is happening around you. Like mantras followed in Hindu religion ( or many other religions). The thumb rule is you need to repeat it over a period of time, until you believe in what you’re saying.
When you affirm, you must state it in present tense, which means , if you want to be a good communicator then you should say ‘’I’m already a good communicator’’, you must be challenging this statement because you BELIEVE you are not a good communicator. Now, by stating it in present tense and repeating it over a period of time, you tend to BELIEVE you’re a good communicator. Also, one other fundamental thing about mind is – IT DOES NOT KNOW WHAT IS REAL OR WHAT IS IMAGINARY. Hence affirming what you want is a fascinating way to achieve results faster.
Observing others :
I think this is the most understated method of learning , observation skills. This is powerful and interesting. NLP helped me to go beyond my thinking process and understand things in a way it is best understood by observing others. By observing other we can learn a new behaviour.
One of my ex-mangers, I believe was the epitome of communication process, I always observed her style of communication. A few remarkable and consistent behaviour patterns she followed were – Listening, eye contact, expression, clarifications.
When she listens, she looks at the person with an interest to know and understand, there would not be any change in her expressions, her eye contact will be intact and he expressions will be appropriate, for example, if someone shares ‘’ a sad story’’ we can see the sadness on her face. She also seeks clarifications when she doesn’t understand things, and she doesn’t assume anything.
If someone wants to learn effective communication, and the person is willing to adapt the new styles, he can always observe his favourite communicators and start following their behaviour patterns.Overall, NLP experience is different from each person to person. I believe NLP is a state of curiosity, it is a state of uncertainty, it is a state of unplanned events, it is a process of learning and unlearning things.